The Power of Grief.

Grief is a powerful emotion, but one that can strengthen our faith. Stephen finishes his “Stepping Out” series by looking at faith and grief.

Faith and Emotion

In this final installment of “Stepping Out”, I’d like to look at a story from the Bible that shows us how our faith can be helped or hurt by a powerful emotion, grief.  We find the story in John’s gospel, chapter 11, when the Lord visits two sisters, Mary and Martha, following the death of their brother Lazarus. 

It’s a long passage, taking up almost the entire chapter, so I won’t be reading the full chapter, but rather focusing on the reactions of Mary and Martha. 

To summarize the context, John 11 opens with Lazarus becoming ill and his sisters sending word to Jesus.  Instead of leaving right away, the Lord waits two more days where he was and then decides to go and visit Mary and Martha.  Before he leaves, he tells his disciples that Lazarus has died.

Now let’s read John 11:17-27. 

Now when Jesus came, he found that Lazarus had already been in the tomb four days. Bethany was near Jerusalem, about two miles off, and many of the Jews had come to Martha and Mary to console them concerning their brother. So when Martha heard that Jesus was coming, she went and met him, but Mary remained seated in the house. Martha said to Jesus, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died. But even now I know that whatever you ask from God, God will give you.” Jesus said to her, “Your brother will rise again.” Martha said to him, “I know that he will rise again in the resurrection on the last day.” Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live, and everyone who lives and believes in me shall never die. Do you believe this?” She said to him, “Yes, Lord; I believe that you are the Christ, the Son of God, who is coming into the world.” John 11:17-27

Strengthening Faith

So, Martha is up first, and here we see the example of grief strengthening faith.  The first thing she says to Jesus acknowledges that He could have saved Lazarus from dying.  Now, it is important to realize, as we’ll see from what she says next, that Martha is not blaming Jesus for the death of her brother.  She follows up her initial statement by saying, “even now I know that whatever you ask from God, God will give it.” 

Martha is not indicating here that she is expecting Jesus to bring Lazarus back to life, nor is she asking Him to do so.  By saying this, what she is confirming is that she knows whatever Christ’s reason for not coming sooner was, she knows it was for a purpose, and that Jesus is able to help her and her sister now, in some way.

This is important because grief is an important part of the process of dealing with loss.  Grief is natural, and it is necessary.  There is nowhere in the Bible where we are instructed not to grieve the loss of loved ones, or other emotional hardships in our lives.  Ecclesiastes 3 tells us,

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens…a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance.”  Ecclesiastes 3:1-4

Along with that, as we read through the Scriptures, we see that God comforts us in times of grief.  2 Corinthians 1:3-4 says,

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.”  2 Corinthians 1:3-4

Psalm 34:18 says,

“The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” 

Thoughts of Comfort

These are great thoughts for comfort, to know that the Almighty God cares for us and wants to draw near and comfort us in our times of grief is extremely important.  Knowing this, and being reminded of it, can work to strengthen our faith in these times as we see with Martha.  Especially considering than when we go through times of grief, it can be really hard to find comfort through regular means and human effort.  We need the Lord, and we can know He is with us. 

Grief is necessary, but despair is not, and far too often that is where grief can take us.  A strong faith and trust in God’s comfort can help us from allowing ourselves to fall into that place of despair. 

Paul writes in 2 Corinthians 4:8

“We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair;”

He could say this on account of remembering everything we have been given from God through the Lord Jesus Christ.  There is some additional comfort as well, in that while we don’t want to fall into despair over our grief, when we do, God doesn’t abandon us to it.  Look again at Psalm 34:18 for an example. 

“The Lord is near to the broken-hearted;” that’s comfort in our grief, “and saves the crushed in spirit;” that is deliverance from despair.  God consoles us through grief, but lifts us out of despair.  Consider Elijah, the great prophet, who sees God win a major victory against the prophets of Baal, only to fall into despair, fleeing from Jezebel and asking God to take his life.  God does not comfort Elijah, He doesn’t say “There, there, take all the time you need, we’ll get through this.”  No, he encourages him, and helps him to press on. 

Saddened Over the Loss of Lazarus

That’s where Martha is. She is saddened over the loss of her brother Lazarus, but she knows Jesus can help her through the grief and the sorrow.  She’s able to have a rational, spiritual conversation with the Lord about the future day when Lazarus would live again, as a righteous follower of the Messiah, because she knows exactly who it is she is talking to, the Christ, the Son of God. 

Martha then calls her sister Mary, and she comes out to meet the Lord.  Let’s pick up our reading at John 11:32-37. 

Now when Mary came to where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet, saying to him, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.” When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in his spirit and greatly troubled. And he said, “Where have you laid him?” They said to him, “Lord, come and see.” Jesus wept. So the Jews said, “See how he loved him!” But some of them said, “Could not he who opened the eyes of the blind man also have kept this man from dying?” John 11:32-37. 

The conversation here starts exactly the same way it did with Martha.  “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.”  Notice though that the second part is missing.  I won’t go as far as to say that Mary is blaming Jesus for the death of Lazarus, but we can notice the difference in the tone of this conversation. 

Where Martha’s faith in Jesus was able to provide the necessary comfort in her sadness, Mary is becoming overwhelmed by her grief.  It is not insignificant that this short statement is the only thing Mary says in the entire story.  The only other thing the Bible reveals about Mary during this encounter is that she was weeping.

Jesus Was Deeply Moved

Jesus seeing her tears, and the sadness of those with her, was deeply moved in his spirit and greatly troubled.  We then have that shortest verse in the English Bible, Jesus wept.  I can’t help but think of the section of Paul’s letter to the Roman’s in chapter 12.  Paul is listing off some of the attributes of a follower of Christ, and he says in verse 15,

“Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep.”  Romans 12:15

Jesus is providing us with the example of this here in John 11.

There is lots of speculation as to what caused Jesus to weep.  Was it in seeing the effects of sin in the world, leading to death, and sadness?  Was it over the loss of his friend?  Was it because Mary couldn’t see Him for who He was in her emotional state?  Claims have been made for all of these, but I think the easiest answer is this; compassion.  Jesus feels compassion for us. 

Remember that God created us, and He created us in His image.  If we are emotional beings, it is because God is an emotional being.  The difference is that God is always in full control of His emotion, and we are not.  Jesus can fully understand not just the reason for our grief, but how that grief effects us in our thoughts, in our feelings, and even in our understanding and judgement. He is fully aware of our individual strengths, and our weaknesses. 

The Lord saw Mary in such distress, such overwhelming sadness, and because He loved her deeply, He entered into her grief, and came alongside her through this time of mourning.  And He will do the same for us, because He loves us the same way He loved Mary, and Martha, and Lazarus.

The Miraculous Close

Finally we get to the miraculous close of this story.  Picking up in John 11:38 we read,

Then Jesus, deeply moved again, came to the tomb. It was a cave, and a stone lay against it. Jesus said, “Take away the stone.” Martha, the sister of the dead man, said to him, “Lord, by this time there will be an odor, for he has been dead four days.” Jesus said to her, “Did I not tell you that if you believed you would see the glory of God?” So they took away the stone. And Jesus lifted up his eyes and said, “Father, I thank you that you have heard me. I knew that you always hear me, but I said this on account of the people standing around, that they may believe that you sent me.” When he had said these things, he cried out with a loud voice, “Lazarus, come out.” The man who had died came out, his hands and feet bound with linen strips, and his face wrapped with a cloth. Jesus said to them, “Unbind him, and let him go.” Many of the Jews therefore, who had come with Mary and had seen what he did, believed in him, John 11:38-45

Remember when Jesus told Martha that Lazarus would live again, and she said she knew that he would rise again on the last day?  Jesus didn’t intend to make her wait that long.  I can’t even begin to imagine the joy and excitement that welled up within Martha when Jesus said these words to her.  “Did I not tell you that if you believed you would see the glory of God?” 

I think she knew at that precise moment what was about to happen.  It is important that we don’t mistake her confusion in verse 39 for a lack of faith.  Martha was not expecting Jesus to raise Lazarus on that day.  She fully believed that he would live again, and Jesus had comforted her by confirming that.  This was different.  Jesus didn’t say “Did I not say that if you believe” as a challenge to Martha to keep the faith. 

Jesus is reminding her of a promise He gave her at some point, that upon her confession of faith in verse 27, when she said “I believe that you are the Christ, the Son of God”,  was about to be fulfilled.  Martha is about to be rewarded for her faith, and Mary, who was also a believer in who Jesus was, we can’t forget that, was about to be plucked out of the jaws of despair.  All because of Jesus’ great love for His own.

Faith to Encourage

I hope this short series on faith has been encouraging to you.  That these stories have helped and will continue to help you through all of your own journeys, triumphs, failures, and struggles.  We have a great God, and nothing is impossible for Him. We can trust in Him completely for all things.  John wrote in his first letter,

“For everyone who has been born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world—our faith. Who is it that overcomes the world except the one who believes that Jesus is the Son of God?”  I John 5:4-5

Let these words comfort and strengthen you, as you press on for the Lord in all you do.

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