Knowing and Then Taking the Plunge – Looking For Love.
Taking the plunge and marrying someone can be a nerve-wracking experience. Follow the series about Isaac and Rebekah from Mark Hillis.
A Tale of True Love
Thank you for joining me in part-4 of this series as we continue looking at the story of Isaac and Rebekah in Genesis 24. May we glean much truth from this tale of true love. We can all be inspired by it, as it portrays the overarching theme of God’s love and sovereignty in our lives, but my target audience with this series is mostly towards those who are young and single, and at the point in life where they are looking for true love and prospective marriage.
Mixed Emotions about Taking the Plunge
I can testify that this can be an exceedingly difficult stage in life. A time where there can be a real mix of emotions; frustration, heartache, feelings of loneliness and discouragement; wondering if God really has prepared anyone for you. But singleness is not all doom and gloom, it should be exciting socially, faith building and an occasion to grow in maturity.
It can also be a time of great temptation to easily lose patience and turn from dependence upon God and go about finding a spouse in your own way. This can lead to great heartache.
James 1:17 says,
Do not be misled, my dear brothers and sisters. Whatever is good and perfect is a gift coming down to us from God our Father… God is our heavenly father, who has the best for us; patiently wait and depend on Him.
James 1:17
The Apostle Paul, in 1 Corinthians 7 talks about single life and married life; that singleness is a time where you can be fully dedicated to the Lord and not be distracted by the things that come with marriage. He is not saying that marriage is bad, but that caring for a wife and children are a different focus for God’s will in our lives. Singleness is a gift and should be seen as God’s sovereign plan for that stage in your life.
The big question that I am sure you are asking is, “how do I know?”
“How do I know when I have found that true love that God has for me?”
“How do I know it is real and without a doubt it is from the Lord?”
The Involvement of Parents
So far in our series we have looked at the involvement of parents. Abraham, at first glance in the story, appears to be steering the ship, but looking at it more closely we saw that God is truly the one in total control. Abraham gave responsibility of his estate to his oldest servant and commissioned him to travel to his distant homeland to find a wife for his son Isaac. The only role this servant plays is a representative of Abraham before God. As we have seen the story play out, it is practically impossible for human intervention to decide on a wife for his son Isaac. We related this to being a picture of how godly parents should commit their children to the Lord, that He would be their means of finding a fitting spouse for their kids.
Differing Views
There are many different views on how involved parents should be in helping guide their child to a life partner. Some would lean towards a hands-off approach, whereas others on the opposite end of the spectrum lovingly arrange a potential partner, with varying degrees between the two.
Biblically, to some degree, a parent should play a role in giving counsel and/or advice on prospective marriage choices. And a child should look to their parents for help. According to the scriptures, honoring our father and mother is important and recognizing the fact that they are appointed by God as an authority in your life.
Figuring Out God’s Will and Taking the Plunge
The response of authority in our lives helps us figure out God’s will. For example, if a parent does not feel that someone is right for you, that needs to be seriously considered without getting your back up or being offended. If they appreciate them, that is a confirmation that blessing is given to continue with the relationship.
Taking your love life before the Lord in prayer is important, for both child and parent.
Assurance Given
In our story, Abraham’s servant was given the assurance that God was preparing the way for the perfect wife for Isaac. That promise lead him to pray a prayer to God that was real, honest, and clear.
Acknowledging our need for God’s direction and having a heart to submit to His leading can help give us clarity in knowing who is right for us.
Confirmation Verses
The following verses confirm the fact that placing our hopes and concerns before God is the best place for them to be.
Commit everything you do to the LORD. Trust him, and he will help you.
Psalm 37:5
Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.
Proverbs 3:5,6
The Virtues of Rebekah
We have seen in Rebekah a character of integrity, and servitude.
Do you want the love of your life to have virtues like Rebekah?
First consider yourself; are you living a life of godliness; striving for spiritual and emotional maturity? If you don’t see it in yourself, don’t expect to find it in a potential spouse. Establish your own heart first.
Don’t compromise your principles. Carefully evaluate potential interests; do they reflect a life of Christlikeness?
Could you love and respect them in all circumstances, and do you feel they would give the same love and respect back to you? Would you want them to team with you in parenting your children?
Don’t lower the bar. Don’t flaunt yourself after the first interest to cross your path. Be sober and sound in your thinking.
2 Timothy 1:7 tells us that God has given the believer in Christ the spirit of a sound mind. Hold onto that truth – that alone could keep you from deceiving yourself.
Set Apart
As I got to know my wife, before we started a serious relationship, I saw merits in her that set her apart from the other women I knew. Because of that, our friendship deepened, and I knew, in my heart that she was the one God had placed in my life to marry. She became my best friend, and I knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that I could not live the rest of my life without her. I couldn’t escape that feeling.
It reminds me of Song of Solomon 5:9,10 where the bride has just finished praising the characteristics of her groom, and the women of Jerusalem respond to her magnification of her beloved,
“Why is your lover better than all others, O woman of rare beauty? What makes your lover so special…? She answers them by saying, “…my beloved is better than ten thousand others!” At the end of the chapter she says, “…he is altogether lovely. This is my beloved, and this is my friend.”
Song of Solomon 5:9,10
Be clear minded and honest with yourself before God and ask; “could I really spend the rest of my life with this person?”
Well known Bible teacher Howard Hendricks said it well;
“Marriage is not finding the person with whom you can live but finding that person with whom you cannot live without.”
Howard Hendricks
The Importance of Character and Integrity
Being physically attracted to someone is important, but finding a person with character and integrity needs to be a greater incentive. 1 Peter 3 the author says to not be concerned with your outer appearance more than your inner person.
Being beautiful or handsome, having money, popularity; this can all fade away. Those things won’t mean anything when going through rough times in life. Vanity will not supply emotional support in the midst of challenges.
The Story Continued
We will read on further into our story; Genesis 24:22-28,
Then at last, when the camels had finished drinking, he took out a gold ring for her nose and two large gold bracelets for her wrists. “Whose daughter are you?” he asked. “And please tell me, would your father have any room to put us up for the night?” “I am the daughter of Bethuel,” she replied. “My grandparents are Nahor and Milcah. Yes, we have plenty of straw and feed for the camels, and we have room for guests.” The man bowed low and worshiped the LORD. “Praise the LORD, the God of my master, Abraham,” he said. “The LORD has shown unfailing love and faithfulness to my master, for he has led me straight to my master’s relatives.” The young woman ran home to tell her family everything that had happened.
Genesis 24:22-28
Confirmation after confirmation. When God lines up the dominos and then tips one over, the chain reaction begins. This is the “knowing,” experience; when God’s Will becomes clear.
Affirmations, harmony, and conclusive unity in a series of events which leave you in awe, is a good indicator that God is at work.
Time for Taking the Plunge
Abraham’s servant is in total “wow,” mode; he can’t believe it! God is pouring out validation to him that Rebekah is the “one.”
She matched his prayer request to a tee.
Now it is revealed to him that Rebekah isn’t just any woman from the area, she is directly related to Abraham’s family! Exactly what Abraham wanted.
2 Samuel 31:33 confirms the reality that God’s way is perfect. All the LORD’s promises prove true. … He makes my way perfect.
Join me in our next session, when we see the adventure that comes with the love that God provides.
“Taking the plunge” is always a step of faith. Why did you decide to commit to your partner? We would love to hear from you. Comment below or contact us at HopeStreamRadio.
Mark Hillis
Mark lives in the small rural village of Fenwick, Ontario with his wife Michelle and three boys.
He joined the FBH International team in February 2022, coming from the business world with a design and art background.
Mark is particularly interested in seeing people come to Christ and grow in their faith. He recently produced the series entitled: Sow to Grow.
Mark serves as an elder at Brockview Bible Chapel in St.Catharines , Ontario.
Visit Mark’s contributor’s page here.
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