Imprisoned.
The cares and worries of life can make even the most optimistic of us feel imprisoned. Carol chooses to personalize a psalm.
Messed Up & Imprisoned
Do you ever feel like the puzzle pieces of your life are so messed up there will be no way to get them into their proper places? Just when you think you are making headway, do you feel like the unknowns, the changes, the pain, or the bad memories roll in and trap you in a dark place? Maybe you long for a change in your circumstances or help to make sense of the things going on around you? Maybe you wish you could follow your dreams but your present reality seems to keep you imprisoned. I know I’ve felt that way many times.
How To Move Forward
How do I move forward when everything around me closes in and conspires to keep me where I am. I look at others who seem to have their lives all together and wish I had the freedom they seem to have.
Still, as I listen to others, I realize that dark memories hold them prisoner as well. They can’t talk about the past, whether it was personal trauma, or injustices, or even being deployed to the hot spots of the world and seeing death and destruction at close range.
A Character Sketch
As I thought about what to share today, on this puzzle pieces of life program, I scrolled through some short pieces of writing stashed away on my computer. For a writing exercise, I had been asked to write a character sketch. I had been feeling trapped, not being able to move forward in my writing at that time, and stuck at home during a time of health issues in my family and the world around me as well. The character sketch reflected those thoughts of imprisonment.
Prison Guard:
James stretched to his full 5’ 11” height, his greying braid hanging to his shoulder blades. His muscles stretched the fabric of his shirt, straining the buttons or so he tried to tell himself but deep down he knew he was getting soft. He couldn’t let the prisoners know that. His complexion and high cheekbones belied his blood even though his hair had little black left in it.
He hated this job but it paid the bills. He counted the months until retirement, whatever that might look like. He hated the grey walls and barb wire, feeling every bit as trapped as those he guarded, even though the iron doors clanged open every eight hours to set him free, at least momentarily.
Now he stood, feet slightly spread, hands close to where his weapon no longer rested as he took his turn in the prison yard. His back almost touched the cement wall. His eyes roved across the yard, looking for trouble he could hopefully avert with a few well-chosen words or threats if necessary. He took a deep breath but only dust and body odor reached him as the sun shone and an eagle soared overhead. How he envied that majestic bird its freedom.
Do You Feel Like This?
Do you feel like this at time? Stuck in a job, or in bad memories that take hold, or in something else? Life changes, often rapidly, and we don’t know what is coming next. Health challenges, financial concerns, and pain pushes at us.
I was challenged to take a psalm and personalize it a couple of years ago. Life had been pretty good that year as far as health challenges but there were still things that were not like I had ever expected them to be. I forgot what I had written until I scrolled through my saved files on the computer. I found it so appropriate for all the things that have gone on in life since then. Life was full of hurts and challenges and many unknowns. I felt like I was stuck once again. No way through the wall that blocked me from following through on dreams and yet the Lord has not changed. God is still the same as He was for the psalmist and I need to yet praise Him for what He will and is doing in my life.
A Personalized Psalm
Psalm written November 16, 2018
O my God, how long
Will these dark thoughts cast down
My soul, triggering
Unbidden tears, heart wrenching sobs
Chains of guilt and despair rattle
Their invisible binding
Self-made prison bars
Sleep’s sweet rest retreats
I cry out for help and collapse.
Stabs of light punctuate
The shadows of my heart
O my God, you see the hurts
You hold me in your hands
Wipe my tears
Help me stand.
You whisper loving words
“Daughter, I hear your cries
I AM the lighthouse of hope.
A Cry Repeated
In Psalm 42: 5 & 11 and Psalm 43: 5, the psalmist repeats his cry to God.
Why are you so downcast, O my soul? Why are you so disturbed within me? Put you hope in God for I will yet praise him, my Saviour and my God.
Three times these words are repeated. Three times we hear the burden, the depths of despair, and the darkness of the writer. Yet we also hear that he will put his hope in God and will yet—maybe not at the moment, but will work at learning to praise God as he trusts him.
Psalm 56: 3 & 4 is a great reminder of what to do when fear overtakes me.
“When I am afraid, I will trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, In God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to me?”
Free or Imprisoned?
I don’t know what each day will bring. Tough times invade my life as they do in everyone’s at some point or other. The puzzle pieces of life look dark and messy. I long to soar in freedom like the eagle and God’s Word says in Isaiah 39: 31
But they that hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary; they will walk and not be faint.
May we trust God to hear our cries for help, praise Him for who he is, and wait for him to lighten the darkness in and around us.
Do you feel imprisoned? We would love to hear from you. Comment below or contact us at HopeStreamRadio.
Carol Harrison
Listen to Carol’s program Puzzle Pieces Of Life or visit Carol’s website carolscorner.ca
Carol Harrison B.Ed is a speaker and published author with one book, Amee’s Story and stories in twelve anthologies. She is passionate about helping people of all ages and ability levels find their voice and reach their fullest potential.
She knows, through personal experience that some of life’s experiences are tougher than others. She encourages people that even in the twists and turns of life God’s amazing grace provides hope.
She lives in Saskatoon, SK with her husband Brian. They have four adult children and a dozen grandchildren.
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