I Corinthians 13 – Love Is Not Self-Seeking
Ron continues his love series from I Corinthians 13 with a post entitled, “Love is Not Self-Seeking” In this series, Ron breaks down I Corinthians 13:4-7 into easily segments by using a selection of “love” themed short stories. This story is about Tricia who is self-seeking and unaware of it.
Staff Position
Tricia smiled at Mrs. Gast as she entered the older woman’s office. Mrs. Gast invited her to take a seat and began to riffle through a stack of papers on her desk. After a moment, she looked up.
“So Tricia,” said Mrs. Gast, “I see you’re wanting to move from a volunteer position with the women’s shelter to a staff position. I’m wondering how long you’ve been thinking this way.”
“Oh, for a very long time. I thought volunteering would be a good way to get started on my career. My plan was to volunteer for a few months, then move to a staff position. Someday, I’d like to direct a facility like this.”
“So you see yourself in a managerial role?”
“Oh yes, Mrs. Gast. I enjoy managing people. You know, assigning tasks, ensuring they are done satisfactorily — things like that.”
The older woman looked perplexed. “But you realize that in this kind of work we are all servants. Even the board members and administration staff serve the women and children who come to us.”
“Well, I’m a servant for sure. Just look at my track record.”
Self – Serving
The older woman’s face revealed some discomfort. “That’s exactly what I have been doing, Tricia, and I’ve discovered that you seem to be serving yourself more than anyone else.”
Tricia looked shocked. “Whatever do you mean?”
“Well, I see a note from one of the residents. When she asked you for help finding resources for her daughter with special needs you told her to look it up for herself on the Internet.”
“Oh, that was Bonnie. I noticed that she sits around and won’t lift a hand to help herself. I just encouraged her to take some initiative.”
“Perhaps you didn’t also notice that Bonnie hasn’t had any computer experience and is very uncomfortable with them.”
“Well, I’m sure I was busy that day. Somebody else could have helped her.”
“But that’s not all,” said Mrs. Gast. “One of your co-volunteers tells me that you consistently ask her to switch shifts at the last minute. Does that sound familiar?”
“That Jody! She’s always complaining about people. Things come up and, yes, I have asked her to fill in for me a few times.”
“And then there’s the matter of sending Sarah out to run errands for you. She’s only 12 and her mom doesn’t like her being out on her own. I know you slip her a dollar or two when she does these things, but the volunteers are here to serve the clients, not to employ them to do the odd jobs they aren’t organized enough to get around to.”
Love Is Not Self-Seeking
Tricia’s smile had entirely vanished by now. “I rather resent that. I’m a very organized person. In fact, I’ve taken over organizing the schedules for the volunteers for a couple of months now.”
“Yes, and I notice here that you haven’t assigned yourself a Friday evening shift or a stat holiday since you started doing that.”
“Well, I do have a social life. I’ve always gone out with my friends on Friday nights and nobody’s complained to me. How am I to get ahead in the world if I don’t look out for myself? And what about my request? Do you think that I could be moving from volunteer to staff any time soon?”
Mrs. Gast pursed her lips briefly before speaking. “I don’t think it will be anytime soon, Tricia.”
“But I love these women and their kids. I want to be able to help them more and I can’t afford to do it without getting paid.”
“I’m glad you spoke of love because that’s an important motivator, but I’m concerned that you seem to have more love for yourself than anyone else.”
Tricia’s tone became aggressive. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I mean that you seem to be very good at getting everyone else to make your life easier, whether it’s your fellow volunteers, or even the residents. Love is not self-seeking. Love does not look for advantages for itself.”
“Well I don’t know what I’ll have to do to prove myself to you,” said Tricia, “but I have goals for myself and I intend to reach them.”
“And, be that as it may, everyone else is here because we have goals for the women and children who take shelter with us. Our goal is to improve their lives not our own.”
What are the dangers of someone being self-seeking in a relationship or working environment? Contact us– we’d love to hear from you!
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