Being a caregiver is a tiring, challenging and demanding task, while caregiver burnout is a constant threat. In this series of posts, Bobbi Junior brings her unique perspective to bear on the subject of Christian caregiving.
In this entry Bobbi reminds us of the story where first Jesus walks on water, then Peter attempts to do so.
Read Part 7 here.
Bobbi Junior is a contributor to our Christian internet radio station, HopeStreamRadio, through her program entitled “Not Me Lord.”
Another situation Jesus ran into reminded of another fact.
The Experts Have Expectations Too
In Matthew 19 the Pharisees once again challenged Jesus about the way he was doing things. This time it was divorce. They knew what was right, and Jesus wasn’t following the law.
The health professionals involved in Draya’s care had a lot of expectations too – of how we should care for Draya, what she ought to achieve, and their expected timeframe for her to be successful.
For the longest time I believed I had to follow every recommendation, do everything they told us, and do it right away. That was such a wrong assumption.
Learning To Pray
In time, I learned to pray over each expectation. The Lord, in his wise, patient manner, gave me a peace about letting some recommendations fall by the wayside. We pursued others a little at a time. And some, we focused on with diligence, making them part of Draya’s routine.
It took some toughening up on my part, though. One spinal cord specialist asked 17 year old Draya, “Are you managing your own medication? Directing your care routines?”
She told him that her mom took care of those things. Wrong answer! Draya and I were subjected to a scathing lecture. In his experience, he said disdainfully, those patients who didn’t immediately take charge of their routines, never became independent.
Draya and I were silent, and relieved with the appointment was over.
Driving home, she asked if I was going to make her take charge of her care now.
“Nope,” I told her. “I know you. You’ll take that on when the time is right. For now, just concentrate on being a teenager and get yourself through high school. Okay?”
“Thanks, Mom!”
The last thing I want to share is a fear that Peter raised.
What Will The Future Hold?
In Matthew 19:27 Peter cried to Jesus,
“We’ve left everything to follow you! What then will there be for us?” Jesus tells them of the incredible blessing they’ll receive in heaven as a result of their loyalty to him.
Reading this last passage, I thought, too, of Solomon’s wise observation in Ecclesiastes 3. There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven.
The Caregiving Season
Caregiving is a season. It may go on for a very long time, but it’s a season nonetheless. Some recipients return to health. Some will need care until they pass out of this life.
Others, like Draya, will stabilize. Our daughter moved to her own home when she was 20 years old. Home care took over her needs, and yes, she began to manage them all by herself. When she was 25 she met and married a wonderful man. Together they run a computer business and employ five staff. Draya’s the social butterfly of the two. While her husband is home watching sports, she and her girlfriends will go out dancing, or for a night of Karaoke.
My caregiving season is over. I still do back up when needed, but Draya’s life is entirely in her hands. And she’s doing just fine.
If you’re a caregiver, or know a caregiver, re-read the Gospels, and ask the Lord to show you, through his word, what you can learn that will make this season more meaningful, and more manageable.
Jesus has been there.
Read Part 1 here.
Bobbi Junior
Read and hear more from Bobbi Junior on the contributor’s page. You can also find Bobbi at her website, The Reluctant Caregiver, at bobbijunior.com
Bobbi’s program, “Not Me Lord” airs on HopeStreamRadio.
Contact Info
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Images:
Man Praying: Charlie Balch
Wedding Rings: Søren Follmann
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